Battle cry: a yell or chant taken up in battle, in hopes of raising morale on your side – and letting your enemy know what they’re up against.
The fact of the matter is, life can often feel like a war. The way 2017 went for my husband and me, going into 2018, I realized that I needed to remember my battle cry…..
I honestly don’t know how to feel about 2017. I mean, how are you supposed to feel about a year in which one of your biggest dreams became a reality, while another one of them was crushed? Where you came so close to having something so precious that it was within your reach one minute and the next, it couldn’t seem farther away? A year where your heart was one of the fullest it’s ever been (at two different times), yet broken into more pieces than you could ever hope to count…..
2017 brought untold joy for my husband and me, but also unimaginable heartache – the kind I never thought I would feel. I found out I was pregnant last year. I also found out that we lost our baby. I finished my book (that I had been working on for a few years), published it, held my book launch and did a book reading at the school I work at (which I was in the newspaper for).
On one hand – what an amazing year, right? I mean, it’s been my biggest dream for as long as I can remember to be a published author – and I did it! I finally made it happen in 2017. But on the other hand, it is a dream of mine (that I didn’t even realize how much I wanted or how much it meant to me) to have a baby of my own and be a mother – and that was taken away from me this past year. I mean, sure, that doesn’t mean that we can’t keep trying and that I won’t have a baby in the future – but even so, it won’t erase what was taken from us. We’ll never be able to meet that child or watch it grow and have children of its own one day. Heck, we didn’t even get to find out if it was a boy or a girl. And that hurts. It all hurts – more than I can even describe.
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*Real Talk: I actually spent a lot of 2017 being mad at God and not even really knowing just how mad I was – and then, not admitting it (to myself or God). Anyone else ever do that? However, when I finally did admit it, there was a freedom in it. In knowing that no matter how mad you get at God, He’ll always be there for you and want to talk to you. You see, God isn’t so fragile that us being mad at Him is going to hurt His feelings. In fact, He actually likes it when we tell Him that we’re mad at Him – because, then, at least we’re being honest with Him. You see, in any real relationship, there needs to be honesty. The fact is, in every relationship, you’re bound to get mad at the other person, at some point – and if it is indeed a genuine relationship, then you have to work through that anger, in order to get to the other side – AND it usually ends up just bringing you closer, in the process. I know that’s what it’s been doing with me and God – now that I’ve finally told Him how I feel. I mean, He already knew — but He needed me to say it out loud.
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I don’t know about you, but I’m someone who gets really excited about making New Year’s resolutions, but I felt like I just couldn’t even bring myself to do it this year. I mean, when you’ve just had the worst year of your life, it’s hard to think that it can get any better. Plus, when you achieve your biggest dream, but then, another one of your dreams crashes and burns – all in the same year – where does that leave you? I mean, when you’ve achieved more than you ever thought you could achieve, but lost more than you ever thought you could lose….. why even bother making goals? I mean, what’s the point? Yes, it’s a depressing thought – it’s how I’ve been feeling, though – but, wait, it gets better…..
SO….. Needless to say, 2017 was brutal, but I have to believe that things will get better. Otherwise, Satan wins. And you know what? I might not know all of the in between details, but I know the end of the story – and….. SPOILER ALERT: Satan loses. In fact, he doesn’t even get a single victory. Not in your life – and not in mine. The fact is, God doesn’t just give us victory – He is our victory.
If 2017 has taught me anything, it’s that “pain is real – but so is hope.” That’s why trusting God is so important – because, through all of the pain and heartache….. He’s there. When bad things happen and life sucks….. He never turns away – but rather, tightens his embrace. Therefore, of all the lessons I learned in 2017, I think the most valuable one was this:
“I am not in control, but I am deeply loved by the one who is…..”
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“I can see the Promised Land
Though there’s pain within the plan
There is victory in the end
Your love is my battle cry
When my fears, like Jericho
Build their walls around my soul
When my heart is overthrown
Your love is my battle cry
The anthem for all my life
Every giant will fall, the mountains will move
Every chain of the past, You’ve broken in two
Over fear, over lies, we’re singing the truth
That nothing is impossible with You
There is hope within the fight
In the wars that rage inside
Though the shadows steal the light
Your love is my battle cry
The anthem for all my life”
~ Every Giant Will Fall
(Rend Collective)
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SO….. With God’s help, I’m going to break off the chains of 2017 and enter into 2018 with hope and peace, declaring my battle cry – the love of the One who loves me more than anyone, who is with me through it all, and who gives me the kind of freedom that I can only hope to one day fathom.
How about YOU? How are YOU going to choose to enter 2018? Because it is a choice.
AND….. What will YOUR battle cry be?
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“But those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.”
~ Isaiah 40:31
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“In all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.”
~ Romans 8:37
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Let’s do this, 2018…..
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